Don't Date To Marry!

I was so shocked when the Holy Spirit first whispered this instruction to me. What? Like seriously? Are you joking? But to my surprise, the Holy Spirit gave me an understanding that is a major solution to the frustration among the married people. If you are single and reading this, I am so sure this will help your dating and courtship process.

According to the first man (Adam - Genesis 2:24) - God’s instruction was not focused on them becoming married. The major focus of God for them was them becoming “ONE flesh.” This is the misconception among youths. There is nothing wrong with you desiring to be married but there is every thing wrong when, all your investment in the relationship is just to be married. Marriage is not the major goal, marriage or being married ought to be an added bonus and not an achievement. There is some thing that is stronger and of necessity that being married. If you don’t have this and you get married, you will begin to endure the marriage instead of you enjoying the marriage.

Dating and courtship needs to be redefined for lovers to become “ONE.” Being ONE with some ONE is not compromising or similarity. This is the place of complimentary and compatibility. Here is the place of agreement where you, and your love in-spite of your differences can still, find a common ground to agree and achieve a common goal. 

The major person of this struggle is not the men or the ladies; mindset is the greatest cause of this frustration. The same attitude we throw at God in the place of prayer and relationship with Him, is what we also bring into marriage. 80% believers are serving the Lord and worshipping God because, they want God to bless them. It is in these give me, give me mentality that we also take into our dating and relationship. The starting point of your walk with the Lord ought to be, you becoming “ONE” with the Lord in your desires, expectations, and plans. Believers are more conscious of what the Lord will do for them than the Plan the Lord has saved them to embrace.

If we don’t change our attitude to the Lord, this attitude in our dating and relationship life will continue. Becoming “ONE” with the Lord is the beginning of you learning how to be “ONE” with your lover. If you don’t want to learn and practice it with the Lord, you will never learn how to share it with your lover. Jesus who is our perfect example became “ONE” with the Father before He could fulfill His assignment. Being a believer of Christ is not about blessings and breakthrough; it is about the Lords intention and plan. Many people think the only plan God has for them is blessing, promotion and provision. Some believers don’t even have a clue that God has a plan that must be expressed. Some believers don’t even know God has a need. That’s why all their prayer is all about me and me and me.

It’s not about you – it’s about us. It’s not about being married; it’s about God’s plan that will be executed in the marriage. It’s not about being married; it’s about the divine assignment you and your lover must accomplishment together in the marriage. Love and marriage is not free; it’s platform for responsibility and executing the plan of God. Being “ONE” with God is the wisdom you need to be “ONE” with your lover. Agreeing with God on His plan for your life is the starting point of you and your lover agreeing with each other.

There is no I in love; we only have us. For you and your lover to be ONE, you both must be heading the same direction in life. Your differences should unit by providing diversity instead of division. Don’t date to marry because if you do, after you are married, all commitment from you will fade away because, the goal is already achieved (being married). Have you ever asked your self, after marriage, what next? After the honey moon, what next? After having children of your own, what next?

For you to becoming ONE with your lover, you both must be ONE in what God has called you people to do individually. You becoming ONE with your lover is when what God has called you to do, agrees with what God has called him or her to do, and both of you can function as teammate.  You becoming ONE is when the vision of the man can create room for the vision of the lady to find expression. You becoming ONE is when the vision of the lady becomes a suitable helper to the vision of the man. Here is a point where what affects ONE person, affect the both lovers.

DON’T DATE TO MARRY; DATE TO BECOME ONE. ONE in planning, ONE in purpose, ONE in vision, ONE in assignment, ONE in responsibility, ONE in commitment, ONE in forgiveness, ONE in apology, ONE in diligence, ONE is sacrifice, ONE in determination, ONE is discipline, ONE in focus, ONE in reconciliation, ONE in consistency, ONE in desires, ONE in expectations, ONE in decision, ONE in fellowship, and ONE in the Lord. This is what every youth should work to attain during dating and courtship season of their lives. When these are in place, every conflict become resolvable and every difference becomes reconcilable.

Stop pursuing the aim of being married and fight with all your effort to be ONE with the Lord and your lover. I AM NOT PROMISING YOU THAT IT IS GOING TO BE EASY, BUT I AM SAYING THAT THE PAIN AND SACRIFICE WILL BE WORTH IT. 

In my own statement, I write; SEEK FIRST TO BECOME ONE WITH LORD AND BY SO DOING BECOME ONE WITH YOUR LOVER AND MARRIAGE SHALL BE ADDED UNTO YOU.

There is still HOPE for you in Christ Jesus.

#John 15:5

#Matthew 11:28-29

Thanks

Yours sincerely,

Prince Victor Matthew 

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