ARE YOU TIRED OF DATING?

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Many people don't know what dating is all about simply because they just meant people doing some things and accepted it as a norm.

What is dating?
Dating is to under-study some one.
Dating is to observe some one.
Dating is seeking to understand how some one thinks and behaves.

Dating is not a declaration of war!!!
Dating is a mutual agreement of two people understudying each other.....to know and see if they can choose to advance into getting married (courtship).

Dating is not the problem....how you date is the problem. 

Dating is not a means to get problem solved but a mean to understudy some one....to understand what they can offer and what it takes to cope with them in future.

It's not a do or die affair...but an understudy.

The major reason why many youths failed is because they put in the kind of commitment meant for courtship stage for their dating stage. The level of commitment to dating is totally different from the commitment in courtship.

Dating is observing, and understudying to know and understand some one. For this to be effective... You must have a blueprint of what you are looking or waiting for. This blueprint every youth needs to determine who to date or accept to date is the understanding of your purpose, calling, vision and assignment.

Purpose: The reason why you exist.

Calling: What God has set you apart to do. 

Vision: Where you are going to in life.

Assignment: Doing what God has calling you to do...where you are heading to in life....for the same purpose why he created you.

Its okay that you are dating this person, but what have you being dating??? In other words, what have you been understudying about this person and how does it align to where you are going to in life....?

There are different stages or phase of a persons life you must date in other to know if you can engage them in courtship or accept them for courtship.

Physical: You need to study and understand the physical aspect of this person. Appearance, dressing pattern...etc

Social: You have to understudy the social aspect of this person. That has to do with the kind of association they keep, the kind of conversation they engage in and the kind of event they enjoy attending.

Intellectual: You have to understudy the thinking pattern of this person. You need to know what appeals to this person intellectually... How they make decisions and what dictates their decisions...their ideas about life, relationship and everything.

Spiritual: You have to understudy their believe system. Who they believe in, why they believe in what they believe and who they submit to spiritually. Their spiritual perspective view about life and relationship.

Emotional: You have to understudy their person method of responding or reacting to issues of life. You need to know what excite this person. You need to know their persons fears, worries, doubt, and area of ignorance. You need to know what offends this person. You need to know what makes their person feel loved, what intimates them, what discourages them...etc.

Financial: You need to understudy the kind of things this person enjoy spending on...why he enjoys spending for such... You need to know his saving habits...things he enjoys saving for....his or her strength in them of finance. You must understand what this person believes about money, spending, saving, budgeting, goals and Financial planning.

Capacity: You need to understudy what this person can do of can't do. You must know their management skills...how they manage things. You must understand their loyal or submissive ability...what make their loyal or disrespectful. You need to understudy their reconciliation skills...either they are solution oriented or revenge oriented. You need to understudy their listening and communication skills. You need to know their ability to handle or not handle pressure...the kind of pressure that can't break them and the ones they can handle.

NOW THAT YOU ARE DATING THIS PERSON.....this is the place and time to understudy this person.

HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
Through observation, conversation and asking of questions....dating without active communication is like going to school without book and pen.

Learn from every thing surrounding your self and this person you are dating....every thing is talking to you. The way this person answers phone call when you are around. The way this person relate or not relate to people on his or her street...the way he relates with his siblings and mother. The way he reacts when he or she is angry with some one else....every thing around him or her is talking to you.

Listen!!!
Listen!!!
Observe!!!

Don't get tire of this dating thing....get tired of being idle...and careless. Dating is not the problem....HOW YOU ARE DATING THIS PERSON IS THE ISSUE.

Healthy relationship or dating should always help you learn and understand new things about this person daily.

Are you really dating this person or you think you are dating this person when you are actually not even dating this person?

How can you keep hugging some one that you are not free to be open to because of the fear of offence? How can you keep hugging some one that is not open to you?

Can we date...is different from...will you marry me?

How comfortable you are about what you have understudy about this person and how that information align with the kind of person you can cope with in marriage.....is what should usher....COURTSHIP!!!

HOPE EXPRESSION believes in you.

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