Available But Not Desperate

-
What can a single person do to make themselves “available” without looking desperate?

You’re approaching your mid-twenties, mid-thirties, and maybe even mid-forties as a single young adult.  It seems like everyone around you is getting ushered into the world of love and marriage, while you find yourself wondering if you will ever find the one.  You’re torn between trusting God to bring you the right one- and working it in the world of love and dating.   So, how exactly does a single young adult make themselves available without seeming too desperate?

The only way to avoid looking desperate is to stop believing that you are, because a person will appear as desperate as they feel.  The more fixated you are on finding love and obsessed about entering marriage, the more desperate you will appear, because eventually, the things that you think about most start seeping into every part of your life for the whole world to see.

Here are some ways to stop fixating on your fears and begin focusing on your future:

Exchange your fear for trust.
When you are driven by fear, you live a desperate life. In an attempt to save your future from the fear of isolation, you can find yourself taking control of everything and everyone in your life.  Fear can drive you to make harmful choices.  It can push you to give your heart away too quickly and cause you to take risks you were never intended to take.  The first step to being gracefully available is in exchanging your fear for trust in God- trusting that He knows the way, and that His plan for your life is always what’s best.  Exchanging fear for trust will ultimately free you to live abundantly rather than desperately.

Get involved in things you love.
The best way to meet a potential match is to get out there and do what you love.  Find activities and passions that resonate with your heart, because there, you will find people who connect with your heart.  The best relationships are made up of two people with similar passions and shared interests.  Invest in the kind of places that will draw you to these kinds of people, all the while quenching your heart with the things you love the most.

Be open to making new friends.
Christian young adults can be terrified of male/female friendships.  Afraid of risking a broken heart, or looking inappropriate to the innocent passerby, it’s easy to avoid friendships that could very well be the foundation of finding a future mate.  Take off the pressure of getting married, and be open to making friends.  Whether or not these friendships lead to marriage, they can lead to encouragement, sharpening, and an all-around broadening of horizons.

Don’t be shy about singleness.
It’s okay to spread the word about your singleness, in fact, I recommend it!  Don’t hide from the fact that you are not in a relationship, embrace it.  There will be a time and place to give your life to another, but until then, focus on giving your life to the world around you.  Singleness is a time of growth, maturity, and learning about yourself- things are easy to miss out on when you are focused on finding the one.  Don’t lose yourself in the pursuit of love, rather take the time to find yourself.

At the end of the day, love happens at the right time, because God’s watch is always spot-on.  God knows where you are at and is perfectly in tune with you need.  Following Him will only get you closer to that place.  Until then, trust Him, pursue your passions, make friends, embrace singleness- and enjoy the ride.

For all you know, love might just be right around the corner.

Jesus loves you so much.

Yours Sincerely,

Prince Victor Matthew.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to Stop Settling for Less in Dating Relationship - Part 6 (Final Part)

-
In the world of relationships, it’s easy to focus on whether we’re settling for less, but what about the other side of the coin? As Christian youths, we must also consider whether we’re unintentionally causing someone else to settle for less by dating us. Relationships are meant to be mutual, uplifting, and Christ-centered. If we’re not careful, our actions, words, or even our approach to dating could cause someone else to compromise their values or settle for something less than God’s best. Here’s how you can avoid putting someone in that position. First, it’s important to be honest with yourself about your intentions. Before you enter into a relationship, ask yourself why you want to date this person. Are you genuinely interested in them, or are you just trying to fill a void, combat loneliness, or conform to societal pressure? If your motivations aren’t pure, you might end up leading someone on, making them believe the relationship has more potential than it actually does. Pray for ...
Read more

How to Stop Settling for Less in Dating Relationship - Part 1

-
Settling for less in a relationship is something many of us have heard about but rarely fully understand. As Christian youths, navigating relationships can be particularly challenging because we want to honor God while also fulfilling our natural desire for companionship. But what does it really mean to settle for less? How do we know when we’re compromising our values or falling short of what God has planned for us? Settling for less in a relationship means accepting someone who doesn’t align with God’s purpose for your life. It’s when you allow fear, loneliness, or the pressure of time to lead you into a relationship that isn’t right for you. It’s when you overlook red flags, ignore the prompting of the Holy Spirit, or compromise your standards, hoping that things will get better with time. But deep down, you know something is off—something is missing.  We all have a God-given purpose, a divine assignment that shapes our lives and decisions. When you settle for less in a relation...
Read more

How to Stop Settling for Less in Dating Relationship - Part 5

-
Going through a breakup, especially after realizing you were settling for less, can be a deeply challenging experience. But it's also an opportunity for growth, renewal, and a fresh start in your journey towards love. For Christian youths, this process involves unlearning old habits, relearning God’s truth about relationships, and opening your heart to love again. Here are 25 specific ways to navigate this journey. Acknowledge the reality of the situation. The first step in unlearning is to face the truth about your previous relationship. Admit to yourself that you were settling for less, and recognize the patterns and behaviors that led you there. This honesty is crucial for your healing. Allow yourself to grieve. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or even confused after a breakup. Don’t rush through these emotions. Give yourself the space to grieve the relationship and the dreams you had for it. This is an essential part of unlearning. Distance yourself from your ex. To unlearn unheal...
Read more