How to Stop Settling for Less in Dating Relationship - Part 4

Settling for less in a dating relationship is something that many Christian youths may find themselves doing, often without even realizing it. It's important to recognize the different ways people might settle, so you can avoid falling into these traps and ensure that your relationships are grounded in the love and purpose God has for you. Here’s a detailed look at 30 kinds of people who often settle for less in dating relationships, along with explanations of why they might do so.

The Fearful: These individuals settle because they’re afraid of being alone. They might cling to a relationship that isn’t fulfilling or godly just to avoid the fear of loneliness. Their fear keeps them from stepping out in faith and trusting that God has someone better for them.

The Impatient: Patience is a virtue, but those who struggle with it often settle for less. They want a relationship now and aren’t willing to wait for God’s timing. In their rush, they may overlook important red flags or settle for someone who isn’t right for them.

The People-Pleasers: These individuals are so concerned with making others happy that they often ignore their own needs and desires. They might stay in a relationship to please their partner, family, or friends, even if it means settling for less than they deserve.

The Insecure: Lacking confidence in themselves, insecure people often believe they don’t deserve better. They may stay in unhealthy relationships because they don’t recognize their worth in God’s eyes, settling for far less than what God intends for them.

The Compromisers: These people are willing to compromise on their values and beliefs just to keep a relationship going. They might settle for someone who doesn’t share their faith or who pressures them to go against their convictions, thinking that it’s better than being single.

The Hopeless Romantics: While there’s nothing wrong with wanting a fairy-tale romance, those who are overly idealistic may settle for someone who doesn’t truly fit them, simply because they’re infatuated with the idea of love rather than the reality of the relationship.

The Rescuers: These individuals feel compelled to "fix" or "save" their partner. They might settle for someone who is emotionally unstable, struggling with addiction, or dealing with other serious issues, believing that their love can change the person. This often leads to unhealthy, codependent relationships.

The Overly Independent: Some people settle because they believe they don’t really need a partner who complements them spiritually or emotionally. They might choose someone who is convenient rather than someone who truly challenges and supports them in their walk with God.

The Settlers for Convenience: These individuals might stay in a relationship simply because it’s easy. They might be comfortable with the routine and fear the effort it would take to start over with someone new, even if the relationship isn’t fulfilling.

The Overlookers: These people see red flags but choose to ignore them. They might settle for less because they convince themselves that the issues will go away with time or that they’re not that important. Unfortunately, these problems often grow worse over time.

The Desperate for Validation: Those who crave validation might settle for a relationship that provides them with attention, even if it’s not healthy or loving. They might stay with someone who doesn’t truly care for them because they’re addicted to the affirmation the relationship brings.

The Comparers: These individuals constantly compare themselves to others, feeling like they’re behind if they’re not in a relationship. They might settle for anyone who shows interest, just to keep up with their peers, rather than waiting for God’s best.

The Rebounders: After a breakup, some people jump into a new relationship too quickly, often settling for someone who isn’t right for them. They do this to fill the void left by the previous relationship, but it rarely leads to lasting happiness.

The Nostalgic: These people settle by going back to an ex or staying in a relationship that no longer works because they’re clinging to the good memories. They may believe that things will go back to how they were, even if the relationship is no longer healthy.

The Overly Optimistic: While hope is important, those who are overly optimistic might settle for a relationship that has more potential than reality. They might constantly make excuses for their partner’s behavior, believing that things will eventually improve.

The Settlers for Security: These individuals might settle for less because the relationship provides them with financial or emotional security. They might stay with someone who isn’t a good match just because they’re afraid of what life would be like without that safety net.

The Overly Empathetic: People who are highly empathetic might settle for less because they don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. They might stay in a relationship out of pity or guilt, rather than genuine love or compatibility.

The Avoiders: These individuals dislike conflict and might settle to avoid the discomfort of breaking up. They might stay in a relationship that’s not working because they don’t want to face the emotional difficulty of ending it.

The Rationalizers: Some people are excellent at rationalizing their choices. They might settle by convincing themselves that their partner’s flaws aren’t that bad, or that they’re being too picky, when in reality, they deserve much better.

The Mistrusting: Those who have been hurt in the past may settle because they no longer believe they can find someone better. Their trust issues lead them to accept a relationship that’s less than what God desires for them because they’re afraid of being hurt again.

The Underachievers: These individuals don’t fully pursue their own goals and dreams, and they settle in relationships because they don’t believe they can do better. They might choose a partner who doesn’t challenge or inspire them, thinking that’s all they can achieve.

The Settlers for Familiarity: Some people stay in a relationship simply because it’s familiar. They might settle because they fear the unknown, preferring the comfort of a familiar, even if unfulfilling, relationship.

The Settlers for Appearance: These individuals might stay in a relationship because their partner is physically attractive or popular, even if the relationship lacks depth or spiritual connection. They settle because they value outward appearance over inner qualities.

The Ignorers of God's Plan: Some people settle because they’re not actively seeking God’s will for their relationship. They might make decisions based on their desires or timing rather than waiting on God’s direction, leading them to settle for less than His best.

Those Stuck in Fantasy: These individuals might be so caught up in the idea of a relationship that they overlook reality. They settle because they’re more in love with the idea of being in love than with the actual person they’re with.

Those Seeking Perfection: On the flip side, some people settle because they’re waiting for perfection. When they realize that no one is perfect, they might settle for someone who meets only a fraction of their standards, rather than waiting for someone who’s a better match overall.

The Settlers for Compatibility: Some people settle by focusing only on compatibility—shared interests, hobbies, or social circles—without considering deeper spiritual and emotional connection. They might be in a relationship that looks good on paper but lacks the substance that truly matters.

The Emotionally Exhausted: Those who have been through a lot of emotional turmoil might settle because they’re too tired to keep searching. They might stay in a relationship that’s “good enough” because they don’t have the energy to wait for something better.

Those Who Doubt God’s Goodness: Lastly, some people settle because they doubt that God has someone special for them. They might believe that they need to take matters into their own hands, leading them to settle for a relationship that isn’t in line with God’s plan.

These are just a few examples of the many ways Christian youths might settle for less in dating relationships. Recognizing these patterns in yourself or others can help you avoid falling into these traps and encourage you to wait for the relationship that God has planned for you—one that will not only bring you joy but also honor Him and fulfill His purpose for your life. Don’t settle for less when God’s best is worth the wait.

Hope Expression celebrates you. 

Prince Victor Matthew