Dear Singles, There is a difference between availability, Value, and necessity. Real wisdom is in you knowing the differences. Real Value in life is fully dependent on who you are in Christ and what God has called you to do. LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP is not an exemption of this. Love and Relationship is not for lazy people. Value is what defines the necessity of any relationship. The fact that this lady or man is friendly does not mean it won’t cost you some thing. There is a price tag on any relationship and in the process of loving some one.  I do understand that this man or lady is available and needed but it’s not going to be free. There is a price tag in every phase of relationship and you must learn to pay your dues if you want to enjoy Healthy relationship. As a lady, greatest joy is not when He proposed to you. As a man the greatest joy is not when you propose and she say yes. The greatest joy is actually your ability to pay the price to sustain the relationsh...

There is a difference between availability and necessity. Real wisdom is in you knowing the differences. Your necessity in life is fully dependent on who you are in Christ and what God has called you to do. LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP is not an exemption of this. The fact that a man asked you out does not mean you need him, and the fact that you like a lady does not mean you need her. The fact that she is still single does not mean you need her. The fact that he is still single does not mean you need Him. The fact that this person is Godly, tongue speaking, demon chasing, and Spirit filled does not mean you need this person. We all do go to super market and shopping moll. Is it every thing in the super market you buy? Is it every thing you like in that super market you buy? So is it in life, love, and relationship. Necessity is key! “Necessity is the mother of needs” The first wisdom in relationship is your ability to know, recognize, and identify what you need. Your needs can ...

Don't insult God! God is so faithful to choose your height for you. He is the one that choose your parents for you. He is the one that choose your nationality for you. He is the one that choose your blood group and genotype. He is the one that choose the arrangement of your hair and He even knows the numbers of your hair. He is the one that arranged the set of your teeth. He is so faithful to design and plan for your life BUT WHY ARE YOU INSULTING GOD IN RETURN? If you want to know things about people, why test and toil with people's feelings? You gossip about people, but why are you afraid of people gossiping about you? You insult people at will but why does it hurt you so much when people insult you. How come you can't take 30% out of the 100% of the insult and pain you cause other people?  Your heart is meant to be the temple of worship. Why is your heart now a laboratory where you test and toil with the heart and feelings of God's precious children?  ...

Love is more than a word, love is a lifestyle and a specific kind of mindset. Love must be defined with specification, time and detail. Any relationship of any kind that is undefined is not a healthy relationship. Any friendship or relationship must have a short term goal and a long term goal. Success or failure in any friendship or relationship is predictable. When you fail to sit, consider and plan - you are setting your self up for failure. You are the factor that makes any friendship or relationship healthy. For you to have a plan and goal for the friendship or relationship in your life, you must have a personal goal and plan for your self. When you are confused as an individual, even if you are a friend with an Angel or dating an Angel - you will end up frustrating the Angel. Do you have a clear picture of the direction of your life? The picture you have about the direction of your life must be a knowledge you have discovered about your personal walk with the Lord. T...

What can a single person do to make themselves “available” without looking desperate? You’re approaching your mid-twenties, mid-thirties, and maybe even mid-forties as a single young adult.  It seems like everyone around you is getting ushered into the world of love and marriage, while you find yourself wondering if you will ever find the one.  You’re torn between trusting God to bring you the right one- and working it in the world of love and dating.   So, how exactly does a single young adult make themselves available without seeming too desperate? The only way to avoid looking desperate is to stop believing that you are, because a person will appear as desperate as they feel.  The more fixated you are on finding love and obsessed about entering marriage, the more desperate you will appear, because eventually, the things that you think about most start seeping into every part of your life for the whole world to see. Here are some ways to stop fixating...

Like other relationships, one-way relationships consist of two people, except in one-way relationships only one person is doing the work.  It’s an unfortunate problem that even more unfortunately occurs far too often.  The man who has been saying he loves you for years, but is never willing to commit… The woman who avoids emotional intimacy by investing everything in her life and career and neglecting to invest in her relationship… The guy who’s been calling, texting, and emailing you for months- but face to face acts like you don’t exist… The girlfriend who keeps saying she’s done with all the other guys, but can never seem to keep those doors closed… The boyfriend who wants to keep taking physically, but giving nothing back emotionally… I could list a hundred examples, and I’m sure you could too.  But the bottom line about one-way relationships like the above, is that they are relationships in which one person always seems to be doing all the g...

All through Scripture Jesus is challenging us: Don’t just dwell on things, pray about them.  Prayer is the act by which we mentally hand over our problems, concerns, fears, desires, and dreams to someone who actually has the power to control.  And it makes so much sense, because if we’re going to allow these things to fill our brain, we are better off doing it in a way that has the power to impact the things that are weighing us down, rather than simply allowing them to consume us.  So for those of you who may find yourself consumed by your love life- or lackthereof, here are some ways to mentally and prayerfully hand those things to the One who can actually do something about it:  Pray…  1.       That God would give you a relationship (Matthew 7:7)!  God’s word challenges us to ask and bring our needs before God.  As long as our hearts are aligned with His, there are no limits on what we can ask.  What are your deep...

Let me share the lessons with you so that you can stay out of caves and in the sunshine. 1) Take your time.  Microwave relationships are like microwave grilled cheese sandwiches. They don’t take as much time or effort, but they are a lame, soggy, stale substitute for the real thing. 2) Don’t say the “l-word”… yet! You can’t deeply love someone if you don’t know them. Butterflies can dance around your tummy, songs can stick in your head, but if you don’t know a person, you are simply infatuated with their projected self. Until you see their true self and decide to stay, avoid proclamations of love. 3) Watch for warning signs.  If your relationship has more red flags than a Spanish bullfight, get out of it. Don’t talk yourself into staying. For example, people who truly respect and honor others will keep their word. Be with someone who is kind, consistent, caring, honest, and confident. 4) Listen.  The object of your worship will be the subject o...

Ages of being sad and ashamed of being single. Ages to unlearn the subtle lies the church and culture taught me. Ages to allow God to use the process of singleness to teach me, refine me, mature me, and teach me so many lessons along the way.  Here are some of the greatest lessons “singleness” has taught me, that I WISH church would have mentioned along the way… Life is not about getting married. Conservative Christian culture has taught me some great things. They’ve taught me to seek a godly spouse, to set boundaries for dating even before I was old enough to date, and to guard my heart for that special someone. But with the laser focus they’ve set on marriage and dating along with the vast programs and ministries focused on “families” – there’s a subtle message of “We’re glad you’re here, but you’re really more valuable if you’re married with kids”. And this sinks in deep. It’s in every “Are you dating yet?” question asked and every lonely church service wit...

My dear fellow singles, You may have noticed an interesting trend lately. Single people and married people don’t often mix. It saddens me when I hear time and time again of single people who have disconnected with friends because their friend had got married. Some say they feel their friend who is now married, doesn’t have the time of day for them and they have somehow drifted apart. Some single people choose only to socialize with other single people, perhaps because they feel they have nothing in common with them or nothing to offer. I would like to share my positive experiences of friendship with married people and about how I believe building relationships with married people can be fulfilling and how you can learn from them if you yourself one day desires marriage. Here are three great reasons why single people need married friends. Learning how to outwork selflessness As a single person, it could be so easy to fall into the trap of being selfish. Tha...