How to Stop Setting for Less in Dating Relationship - Part 2

Settling for less in a dating relationship is something many Christian youths encounter, often without even realizing it. It’s easy to get caught up in the emotions and excitement of being with someone, but there are subtle ways we might be settling that could affect our spiritual growth and future.

One common way youths settle for less is by compromising on their core values. You might start dating someone who doesn’t share the same faith or level of commitment to Christ as you do. It might not seem like a big deal at first, especially if you’re physically attracted to them or enjoy their company. But over time, this mismatch can lead to spiritual tension. If your partner doesn’t encourage you in your walk with God or doesn’t share your desire to live according to biblical principles, you may find yourself drifting away from the very foundation of your faith. This can manifest in small, seemingly insignificant ways, like skipping church to spend time together or neglecting prayer because your partner isn’t interested. Over time, these small compromises can lead to a spiritual disconnect that’s hard to bridge.

Another way youths often settle is by staying in a relationship out of fear of being alone. The pressure to be in a relationship can be intense, especially when it feels like everyone around you is coupling up. But staying with someone just because you’re afraid of being single is a form of settling. You deserve a relationship that’s built on mutual love, respect, and a shared vision for the future. If you’re with someone simply because it’s better than being alone, you’re settling for less than God’s best. God’s plan for you involves someone who will cherish you for who you are and help you grow in your faith, not someone who merely fills the void of loneliness.

Lowering your standards is another way youths settle for less. You might have a clear idea of the qualities you’re looking for in a partner—someone who shares your faith, who respects your boundaries, who treats you with kindness. But over time, you might find yourself lowering those standards because you’re tired of waiting, or because you feel like your expectations are too high. You might tell yourself that certain behaviors are okay when deep down, you know they aren’t. For example, accepting disrespectful behavior, excusing a lack of commitment, or tolerating actions that don’t align with your values are all signs that you’re settling. God calls us to hold ourselves and our relationships to a higher standard, and settling for less is a way of telling ourselves that we don’t deserve God’s best.

Settling can also happen when we ignore red flags. We’ve all seen them—those warning signs that something isn’t quite right in the relationship. Maybe your partner has a temper, or perhaps they’re controlling, or maybe they’re not honest with you. These red flags are God’s way of warning you that this relationship isn’t right, but it’s easy to overlook them when you’re caught up in the emotions of love. You might think you can change the person or that things will get better with time, but more often than not, these issues only become more pronounced. Ignoring red flags is a clear sign that you’re settling for less than you deserve.

Lastly, settling for less can happen when you prioritize the relationship over your own growth and calling. As Christian youths, we all have a purpose—a unique calling that God has placed on our lives. But sometimes, we can become so focused on the relationship that we lose sight of that purpose. Maybe you start neglecting your studies, your work, or your ministry because you’re spending all your time with your partner. Or perhaps you’re putting your dreams on hold because they don’t fit with your partner’s plans. When you start sacrificing your God-given calling for the sake of the relationship, you’re settling for less.

To avoid settling for less, it’s essential to stay grounded in your relationship with God. Make Him your priority, and trust that He knows what’s best for you. Surround yourself with wise counsel—friends, mentors, and family who will support you in your journey and remind you of your worth. Be patient, and don’t rush into a relationship out of fear or impatience. God’s timing is perfect, and He has someone for you who will not only love you for who you are but will also help you grow into the person He’s called you to be.

Remember, you are worthy of a relationship that honors God and brings out the best in you. Don’t settle for less because you’re afraid or because you think it’s all you deserve. Trust in God’s plan for your life, and know that He has something greater in store for you.

Hope Expression celebrates you. 

Prince Victor Matthew